As a Coach that specializes in anxiety disorders and fears, all too often I see people allowing their man made fears run their lives.  Fear is real when there is real danger, but most fears are created from within.  One may have had a nervous reaction to a certain stimulus, event or action, which creates the fear.  Fears are created when you cannot let go of the past response and the thoughts surrounding them.

We are all aware of September 11^th how our world changed at that moment.  As days, months and years have passed since that dreaded day, many elements of the fear felt that day have lingered on within.  Social phobia has sky rocketed, anxiety disorders, agoraphobia and several more.  The problem is when fear runs your life.  When I say runs your life, it means it actually creates the world you are living in or should I say, not really living. 

As this dreaded day is surely not the cause for all fears, what the cause is, is  the reaction to certain situations and happenings and the thoughts surrounding it.  We create irrational thoughts and in our minds they seem so real, therefore, the natural action to take is avoidance from the feared situation.  Nobody wants to feel the unpleasant sensations that arrive when we feel fear.  This avoidance is what is allowing the fear to run your life, not you running your life.

Your personal belief system will also contribute to many fears and enable them to invade your life.  Let’s take Sam, he is a brilliant man with a college education and many specialized skills, but he has chosen a career that does not require an education of any kind, it is somewhat thoughtless position, not to sound crude, but for him it is.  Why does Sam choose this position? Fear! His belief system has allowed him to create this pattern of thinking that he is not worthy of a successful career and he is not as good as the other guy.  His thinking is beyond negative and this has created the fear to stay in a job that he makes less than minimum wage, has no room for advancement and does not have to battle the competition. 

Sam’s fears are running and ruining his life.  How can Sam let go of the fear and take control of his life?  Sam has some work to do which takes commitment and change.  He must change his thinking pattern, he has to be aware of his thoughts and diagnose them for what they are…negative.  At this moment, he must change them to the exact opposite.  Repetition of thought replacement is the key to creating the positive thinking.  Sam has created this habit of thinking and fearing.  He has to set the goals and act toward them.  He needs to face the fears and take action.  If he takes no action, things will remain the same. 

Everyone on this Earth has the same opportunities as one another.  There is not one person better than the other.  There are differences in people and the choices they make, but more importantly, Attitudes are different.  We are all equal.  Even the most successful people have fear, but they did not let fear run their lives in a destructive way, they actually have accepted fears along the way and worked to prove them wrong.  We all can do the same.

To tolerate fear running your life is somewhat of giving in and giving up.  This is no way to live.  Sure, everyone has fears, some worse than others, but life has to go on.  When fear runs your life, there are only missed opportunities, feelings of defeat, depression, anxiety and time lost.  Is this any way to live this wonderful life we all have been given?  The simple answer is…NO!

Take your fears, dissect them and throw them away and start living.  You can do it as so many have.  Embrace life, accept that life is not perfect and there will always be bumps along the way, but if you want something, go after it, do not let fear stop you! Fear is good at time.  Fear can motivate you and make you stronger. 

Think about your life without fear, where would you be and what would have you accomplished?  Then ask yourself what you have missed do to fear?  The results may be shocking. 

If you have fear, acknowledge them and define why they are within you.  Break them down in to small pieces and start to face them, piece by piece until you no longer fear them.  No longer miss out on life and let fear run your life.  You are not being fair to yourself or your life.

Analyze your life; is it what and how you want?  If not, make some changes toward your dream life.  You can do it, I have no doubt.  If you or someone you know has fears or anxiety that limits their lives than A Life Coach can help you gain clarity and move you away from fear into living a fearless life. 

Don’t let fear run your life anymore.

Kristen L. Baker, M.L.C., M.S.L.C.